Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with all the things I want to do, all the places I want to see, all the things I want to say. I live such a jumbled life with so many points of focus, and often I wonder what it would be like if I made one of them my priority. But when I think of the things I love individually they seem hollow and unsatisfying.
It’s not travel that I love. It’s the feeling of freedom and endless possibilities, of endless exploration, beauty and wonder. It’s not jewellery that I love. It’s the feeling of inspiration that looking at, imagining, creating and sharing beautiful things gives me. It’s not being a massage therapist that I love. It’s the joy of bringing a little more ease, relaxation and happiness to someone else. It’s the undoing of tension and restoring of balance. It’s peace. It’s all about peace.
When I write, when I sing, when I do yoga. All of these things are connected by my need to immerse myself in peace and share it with others.
I often get caught up dreaming of a far away land. I haven’t mastered the art of teleportation yet, so it usually leads to frustration. I want to create a sustainable lifestyle for myself, doing what I enjoy. If I didn’t it would be easy to save money doing temporary work, counting down the days, to go wherever I wanted to go. But it would be temporary, and temporary isn’t enough for me. Temporary does not bring me peace now or in the future. Wishing time away, waiting to be happy, and then when the time arrives knowing that it can’t last.
I often get caught up dreaming about having a hugely popular website which would enable me to earn money while travelling the world. Then my temporary dream would be permanent. This new dream also leads to frustration though. I see how much work it would take to get to that stage and imagine how long it would take me. I have to do what I love NOW.
This brings me back to peace.
The one theme in my life that unifies everything I am passionate about. When peace is my focus I can do whatever I am doing and it feels good. I can write about somewhere I’ve been and be transported back there, feeling more alive and joyful than words can describe. I see all of the beauty where I am now and feel less desire to escape. Possibilities open up as a result of this, pieces of the puzzle begin to fit into place, things flow more smoothly and I find myself a step closer to achieving all the things I want, even though I no longer desperately need them.
It’s not really the what, it’s the why. I still end up doing all the same things, but everything becomes so much more fulfilling. When I let go of fixed ideas about what I’m trying to achieve, everything is easier to do. Life becomes lighter and things get done more quickly. Putting the things I love into boxes leaves me feeling restricted by the limits I create for myself. So instead of lots of boxes, or even one big box, I’m using peace as my container. It’s an infinite space that contains everything I need and more.
I keep coming back to peace, because: